As a thinker, a Philosopher, a man of words, I spend a lot of time in my head. My body has taken care of itself over the years. It is strong from cycling and now from dancing everyday it has become lean. I am proud of my body. It is the vessel carrying my soul. To my surprise through dance I was connecting with feelings and emotions I had not experienced before. I had never considered emotions as being outside of the mind or as a bodily function. Emotions were of the heart, of the mind and controlled by what I thought and not from my physical being.
Three days after the Dance of Intimacy class I had a dream about my ex-wife. In the dream she was pleading and chasing me wherever I went. I reject her every advance. I was trying my best to get away from her. At this point in time I had been divorced for over twenty five years. During most of that time we barely saw each other and only spoke of matters concerning our daughter. I had never dreamed of her before.
In the dream we were dancing. Our movements mimicked the segment of the dance called, “Pleading and Rejecting.” Now I understood the dream. It would not have had the impact it did if I had dreamed it before the dance class. Now twenty-five years later I feel compassion for the pain my then wife was experiencing when all I wanted to do was to get out of the marriage and start my new life.
The morning after the dream I wrote her a letter. In the letter I acknowledged the dreams we shared as newlyweds and apologized for my part in their failure. For the first time in twenty-five years I told her I was sorry.
Another dance class offered by Cynthia had a completely different approach to the high energy classes of Zuza. Her classes were based upon the authentic movement philosophy of CG Jung and the continuum movement philosophy of Grabrille Roth. I had low expectations of any awakening taking place from the process known as micro-movements but I found myself in the place from which I received life, the womb.
The basis of the authentic movement philosophy is the recall of the movements a baby makes before it starts imitating the movements of adults. These movements are natural and happen without thought or consciousness. The are the instinctive movements of the body.
I lay down on the floor, close my eyes and move my body as a new born baby would. Whatever the place was my body touched, I was not familiar with it. I started to cry for no reason I was consciously aware of but the tears flowed. After the class I felt cleansed. I had a clean slate to live my life any way I wanted. I could paint my world any color I desired.
Now I attend a dance class as often as I can. In each class my body moves more freely than it did the day before. It is remembering, releasing and freeing itself of memories and burdens it has been carrying around for years. No wonder I feel lighter. I am. I am experiencing new dimensions of my own physical being.
Thank you Zuza and Cynthia.
Señor Tao (April 17, 1948 -)